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 Darbar of Aksharpurush

 Ranganayaki Srinivas

Parak! Parak! The King of Kings, the Maharaj of Alphabet, The Ace of Letters enters the Raj Darbar of the letters of the Alphabet.

Maharaj Aksharapurush Ki ………..Jai           Maharaj Aksharapurush Ki ………..Jai

Maharaj:          Mahamantri, How are things in Aksharapuri?  Are my subjects happy?

Mantri:        Yes, Maharaj, the letters are happily forming words and sentences. But… we have a small problem.

Maharaj:          What is the problem, Mahamantri?

Mantri:          All the letters have a complaint against the letter ‘I’.

Maharaj:     All right. Let’s hear the  complaint.  Let the Proceedings of the court begin.

Attendant:          Mujrim ‘I’ Hazir Ho.

I:                 Pranam, Maharaj. I’m the letter ‘I’.

Maharaj:          m…. Which letters are complaining against him?

Mantri:          Here Maharaj.  All the other letters are here.

S:                Greetings your Majesty.  I ‘m letter ‘S’ .  I cannot work with ‘I’ anymore. I’m tired of him.

Maharaj:     What ! But that’s impossible. Both of you together make ‘is’.  I…S…’IS’ Without ‘is’ we cannot make sentences. We can’t even say ‘He is a capital letter’ or ‘He is a small letter’.

Mantri:        Yes, Maharaj. And we can’t sit or sing. You can’t sign.

S:                But your majesty, ‘I’ makes fun of me.  He says I’m bent like a snake.  And the noise I make is also like a snake.

I:                 Yes and I’m right in saying that. When you make a sound like this s……… you are a real poisonous snake.

Maharaj:     Order…Order….  Who are the other letters against ‘I’?

O:               Maharaj, I’m ‘O’.  This ‘I’ made fun of me and ‘U’.

Maharaj:     What ! He made fun of me !

I:                 No, Maharaj, I never made fun of you.

O:               Maharaj I said that he made fun of the letter U.  He told me I can never stand straight like him.  He also said that he could send me down the hill like a ball with one sharp kick.  He thinks I’m old and weak.

I:                 Yes, my dear old man. You are old.  That’s why you make words like old. Haven’t you seen story books beginning with ‘Once upon a time’…. You are ages old.  You should retire now.

Maharaj:     Order, order. I forbid ‘I’ to speak again.  Don’t open your mouth unless you’re asked questions.

S:                Maharaj, he also said ‘s’ and ‘n’ are only good for saying ‘yes’ and ‘no’. 

N:                He says we don’t understand anything and we keep on saying yes…yes…or no…no…

S:                Yes Maharaj, and he says I have no business to be in the word ‘island’.  I’m not sounded at all since I’m silent.  He asks me why I should be there.

ALL:           We don’t want to work with ‘I’ anymore.

Mantri:        But Maharaj then we can’t make o…i…l…oil…..we can’t make s…i…l…k…silk… we can’t knit….we can’t  stitch…oh it’d be terrible.

N & O         Maharaj, together we make ‘no.’   That’s our answer.  We say ‘no’ to working with ‘I’.

Maharaj:     Order, Order.  That’s enough.  I think the letter ‘I’ is too proud.  To control him whenever he is written, there should be two lines one above and another below him.  He cannot grow beyond this limit.  When he occurs in the beginning of a sentence or when he stands for a person, he will have to carry one line on his head and one line attached to his feet.  When he occurs in any other word he will not stand straight.  He will be bent like all the other letters and a dot of 100 kilos will hang just above his head.  Whenever he creates any problem, he will be hit on the head.  This is my judgement.

ALL:                 Long Live the King !   Long Live King Aksharapurush !       Raja Aksharapurush Ki Jai !

H M Patel Institute of English Training & Research, Vallabh Vidyanagar - 388120, Gujarat, India

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